Shikamaru's Valentines Day
by NebStorm
Summary: Shikamaru only has one Valentines Day present to give. So he tries to figure a loop hole, how to get through the day without drawing attention.


**Neb: I believe it is the day of love, so here's a little Valentines Day present to everyone. Sadly Shikamaru doesn't have a present for you guys, but being himself should be enough. I do not own Naruto.  
**

At Shin- Obi Junior-high, students were all ready for valentines day, except for a pineapple head who ordered sixty cards to pass around his class at random and only wound up with one. "Mom, I only got one card in the mail," Shikamaru yelled down to his mother.

"That's it, we're subscribing to a different mailing company!"

"Try Mail Ninja, my friend Lee says they always get theirs on time," Shikamaru called back. He looked at his one card and then sighed before pocketing it. "So Kiba and Naruto will laugh at me and Ino and Temari will be pissed they don't get cards," he predicted. "Lee and Choji will be chilled though, I'll sit with them today and hope they don't let anyone else sit by me. K, I have a strategy to get through today, but I may need to come up with twelve backup ones just in case." He pulled out a Shogi board and started imagining pieces were his class mates and the square board was his classroom. He predicted where each piece would go do to his memory of how things usually went and grinned when he decided he came up with thirteen different plans. "Thirteen may be unlucky, but superstitions ain't my thing."

"Don't be late for school honey, I packed your lunch," Shikamaru's mom called up.

"Thanks mom," He called back. He yawned before heading downstairs and grabbing half a bagel and his bag of lunch. He also grabbed two easy make ramens for Naruto and Choji. Choji is his best friend, so he shares food with him for the hell of it, or because it makes Choji happy... one of those two reasons. Naruto doesn't have parents and has basically been raising himself along with support from the third Mayor's staff, so Shikamaru decided to start giving him food to, in order to make the blonde kid's life less miserable. He headed down the market where he saw Shino handing a card with bug pictures on it to Kiba and Hinata. Avoid at all costs, Kiba is loud and will make a scene about anything he finds funny, and Shikamaru believes it would be too much of a drag for the hyena to being howling his ass of at his predicament. Hinata is quiet, so she's alright. Shino is weird, so he's... Shino. Shikamaru made it to the school building finally and smiled when he saw the coast was clear and moved quickly to the door.

"Hey kid, pay up entrance fee," a taller boy grinned. He turned to see an orange haired kid that was bigger than Choji.

"Don't call me kid, we're practically the same age," Shikamaru yawned. "Besides, I can just call any of the Teachers hanging out over their to get you in trouble." He pointed over to a silver haired man with an eyepatch chatting with his teacher Asuma.

"Telling the teachers on me, you tattle," he laughed.

"What a drag, look big guy, move out of the way or I, as you said tattle." Jirobo stepped aside and grunted at him. Shikamaru could swear he heard an obnoxious girl yell fat ass to Jirobo as he walked in the school door and decided not to bother looking back.

"Hey kid," Asuma grinned as he walked by. "I'll beat you in Shogi later after school."

"Why do you even bother Asuma," the eye patch teacher grinned,

"Shut up Kakashi." Shikamaru headed into his classroom and smiled that he made it safely and as he predicted Lee was already there. He sat next to Lee and placed one of his Ramen cups at the desk next to him to show the seat was taken.

 _"Part two of my plan, lay my head down until class starts, nobody will converse with me then."_ Shikamaru did as he thought and sure enough class went by, every passed out valentine gifts and Shikamaru slipped his other Ramen cup in Naruto's backpack when he wasn't looking. He then looked at the clock wondering when class will end.

"Shikamaru, where is my Valentine Gift," Ino asked. Everyone looked at Shikamaru as a sweat drop formed on his head.

"My gift to you all is Lee talking about how great youth is," Shikamaru responded. (Plan 5, Use Lee) "Floors yours buddy." Lee sprung up with happiness and everyone tried their best to look away and not engage him, but Lee started talking continuously anyways. "Success."

"Shikamaru, you didn't answer Ino's question," Kiba grinned. Shikamaru gave him an I hate you look and Kiba gave a suck it grin. Shikamaru went over his other plans in his head, but decided an explanation was in order.

"My cards got lost in the mail," Shikamaru explained, but Ino grunted after that.

"Your suppose to make them you idiot, not buy them! We should take our valentine gifts back, seems how you didn't participate!" Shikamaru yawned and looked away and Ino stomped off.

"What about the one poking out of your pocket," Temari asked.

 _"Dammit woman!"_ She gave the same grin Kiba did. She wasn't under Ino's category after all, because she joined in on Naruto and Kiba's laughing at him. Shikamaru got up and walked out of the classroom yawning.

"Where are you going," Asuma asked.

"Bathroom," he yawned before disappearing. He could swear he heard Ino yell something about don't come back until you have gifts for everyone, but he was pretty sure she just wanted something from everybody. So he fall under the category of not giving gifts like Sasuke, so what. If Sasuke gets away with it, why shouldn't he.

He heard a bunch of cursing right before a red head girl left her classroom. Orchestra/ Band room he was pretty sure it was. "You all can't keep on beat you F*****s!"

"Pretty sure cursing won't help them play better, let alone get you any cards," Shikamaru yawned and her eyes moved towards him with death in her eyes.

 _"Shit, wrong time to be a smart ass," Shikamaru thought._ "What I meant to say was, I'm going that way," Shikamaru lied before walking a different direction. He felt her eyes beaming on him from behind, and that feeling didn't go away even when he turned several corners. He turned his head slightly and there she was, following him with the same look in her eyes. Was she planning on murdering him or something. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said, but please stop following me."

"That was a f****ing apology?!"

"... Yes." The two of them starred at each other for a bit and then Shikamaru saw the guys bathroom and decided to head over their. She followed him up to the entrance and then he closed the door behind him. He peeked out the window and saw she was waiting outside for him. _"She's persistent."_ He sat back and decided to wait her out. She wasn't going anywhere and Shikamaru thought if a good time was to start sleeping, it would probably be now. He has nothing going on and Asuma wouldn't be surprised. Shikamaru leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. It was when the bell rung did he open them and he headed out the bathroom door and walked back towards class. He grabbed his stuff quickly and headed back outside until he saw Jirobo talking to the redhead girl.

"Your never going to get a boyfriend if you keep acting like a bitch all the time Tayuya," Jirobo stated until he got punched in the gut. He coughed a second and then grinned. "How many valentine cards did you get?"

"I don't need that shit," she yelled. "I don't need anything from anybody!"

"Sure you don't," he laughed. Shikamaru decided to ignore the situation and go home, but the red head girl caught up to him.

"Hey shithead, you finally out of the bathroom," she snarled.

"Hey orchestra chick, you still stalking me?" Shikamaru saw a pair of twins and a kid with spider tattoos laugh in the background at his comment and make kissy faces at Tayuya.

"Sh-shut up!" Shikamaru turned around and headed around the market place quickly where he was stopped by the redhead chick and the spider tattoo boy.

"So I'll punch some sense into him, and then he'll apologize, as simple as that," the boy explained.

 _"Crap,"_ Shikamaru thought until he saw Shino walk over.

"Hey, fake spider tattoos, leave my friend alone," Shino spoke up.

"Hey creep, these tattoos are real," the boy responded with a scowl.

"Your kidding, I meant the spiders were fake, their coloring is off, the shapes are unrealistic and one of them is missing a leg." The spider tattoo kid inspected his body until he saw the spider missing it's leg.

"Dammit!"

"If you were a true spider lover, you would have waited until you were old enough to hire a professional to work on you instead of cover yourself in pathetic artwork, you have disgraced the name of those who love bugs." The boy fell to his knees and slammed his hands on the ground.

"How could I be a fool," he sobbed. "Am I not really a spider lover?"

"Kidomaru, get a hold of yourself," Tayuya spoke up.

"I suppose I should go now," Shikamaru sighed in relief before walking past Shino and placing his hand on his shoulder. "Thanks man."

"Wait, I want a real apology for what you said earlier," Tayuya yelled. He turned back to the redhead and she had an angry look on her face. Shikamaru sighed and then turned to her.

"I apologize for saying you don't get Valentines cards," Shikamaru apologized. "Here." He handed her the Valentine card in his pocket and then nodded to Shino to state they were leaving. Tayuya looked at the card in shock as it was the first card she received today. As Shikamaru and Shino turned the corner he heard the redhead girl calling to him from behind.

"Hey Jackass, see you in school tomorrow!"

"What a drag..."

 **"Happy Valentines Day Everyone!"**


End file.
